Raftsman's Journal

A Michigan Legislature.

A friend told us that our anecdotes of the Legislature that wanted the Constitution to run through his farm, and of his worthy brother who did not think his constituents had any "senses," reminded him of the freaks of a distinguished Michigan State Senator, who in his day, was the unfailing source of half the fun at the Capitol. Upon one occasion, while some resolutions were under discussion which involved an endorsement of the course of the Michigan delegation in Congress upon the Tariff question, this gentleman sprang to his feet and exclaimed:

"Mr. President! I do not care a cuss about this plaguy Tariff, but I'm afraid that the Whigs will get a branch of the d—d thing in this State!"

The same gentleman was at another time made the victim of the sarcasm and irony of a political opponent, who, in a long and personal speech against him in the Senate Chamber, accused him, among many other things, of having "stolen the livery of heaven to serve the devil in." Our friend rose to reply, violently agitated and trembling with indignation. He said:

"Mr. President! This is the first time in all my life that I have been accused of stealing! My opponent says I have stolen the Library of Heaven! Mr. President in the most solemn manner, allow me to assure you that I did not know that there was such a book in print."

He was originally from New Jersey, and was very fond of glorifying that State. Upon these occasions, he always commenced as follows:

"Mr. President, the great State of New Jersey, which State I had the honor to leave, etc."

These are all pretty hard to beat, but we believe we can still cap the climax by a leaf from our Hoosier reminiscences. It is what we remember of a speech we once heard delivered by a candidate for County Clerk. The orator was one of those lank, shambling men that are almost always found in fever and ague countries, and was dressed in a complete suit of linen, which at once was too small and too large for him. He was troubled at the time with a bad cold in his head, and blew his nose every few minutes with his fingers, wiping them after each operation upon the seat of his pantaloons, which, by frequent repetitions of the process had grown quite sleek and glossy. He began:

"Feller citizens! I was born in glorious old Knox, but was fetched up in Sullivan, and had it not been for the goodness of Divine Providence and some other gentlemen I would have been as darned a fool as any on you. But I have learned a first rate education, and will make as good a clerk, if elected, as Squire Law would be. I hold in my hands an American half-eagle. Upon one side are inscribed the Goddess of Liberty, with her cap upon a bean pole; upon the other is an eagle, bearing in his mouth a motto, E. Pluribus Unum, signifying a plurality of unicorns, and if you will step over to Phil Haynes' we will spend it for liquor!"

He was not elected.—Chicago Tribune.