The Alliance Herald

I am quite law-abiding as you will agree:
Regard murder as no nice profession.
Nor has violence any attraction for me,
Yet I must make this candid confession;
There's a man I detest. whom I simply abhor-
The superfluous man, let us call him.
His very existence to me is a bore-
No fate cruel enough can befall him.
He's the man who, when you make your way every morn To the bathroom, gets there just before you,
And the greater your wrath, your vexation and scorn.
The more he appears to adore you:
You will find him again on the crowded street car,
Where if there's one seat that's not taken
He just beats you to it; he knows who you are-
All your criminal instincts awaken.
At the box office window, alas you will note He has managed once more to forestall you;
At the bank, at the depot, when casting your vote
And he does it just simply to gall you.
So why not pass a law--it would be very fine-
(You can always find someone to do it)
To make it illegal to be first in line Or ever beat anyone to it.